<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>It's Not Enough by ThoscheiTrash</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24380836">It's Not Enough</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThoscheiTrash/pseuds/ThoscheiTrash'>ThoscheiTrash</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Thoschei Fics [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A tiny bit of smut, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, At the end anyway, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e10 The Timeless Children, Spydoc, TenSimm - Freeform, best enemies, but the rest goes through all their newwho incarnations, twissy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:41:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,869</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24380836</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThoscheiTrash/pseuds/ThoscheiTrash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Throughout their lives, the Doctor and the Master have never felt like they're enough for each other.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tenth Doctor/The Master (Simm), Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan), Twelfth Doctor/Missy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Thoschei Fics [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621621</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's Not Enough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Had this idea at half past midnight. Started writing it, and now I'm posting it at half past two in the morning.<br/>Why is it that I write best so early in the morning? The words seem to flow a little better when I'm sleep deprived, apparently.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“It’s not enough!” The Master had shouted, his blond hair threatening to blind him if he let it grow any further. He had the Doctor at his mercy, trapped in a cage with no escape in sight, but he needed more. He needed to properly </span>
  <em>
    <span>break</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, leave him a whimpering mess who begged to be set free. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he didn’t, of course - no matter how many threats he made, the Doctor was always </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>enough to plead for the lives of others, but never his own. The Master vowed to himself that one day, he would have the Doctor begging for release.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not enough!” The Doctor cried, holding the lifeless form of his old friend in his arms. The two of them may be older than many civilisations, but they just didn’t have enough time together. And the time that they </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> have, they wasted fighting. Maybe it was his own fault, the Doctor thought. He could’ve tried harder to save the soul of the man he’d once left behind on Gallifrey - the man he’d promised to run away with, but he’d decided to leave behind instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, he knew he’d never have a chance to make up for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not enough!” The Master screamed, once the hunger had set in. His resurrection left something inside of him broken - he wasn’t sure what it was, but it was stopping him feeling </span>
  <em>
    <span>full</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He pulled meat off the bone, shoving into his mouth like an animal, and in the forefront of his mind, he could only hear a steady four beat rhythm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He used to think that it was taunting him - it was always steady, completely stable and unchanging, while the Master was anything but. He was reckless and impulsive, and every move he made seemed completely crazy to the untrained eye. Why was it that the one thing in his life that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>stable</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the thing driving him mad?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not enough…” Someone had once said, when they realised that Gallifrey could not be saved. There was nothing that could save them - nothing that could </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever</span>
  </em>
  <span> bring them back, not unless they were willing to hurt a child. But they were, and the Master suffered for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he got his revenge, and he saved the Doctor’s precious Earth in the process. Not that he cared about the planet - he only cared about the man he’d known since they were children. He cared about the person that he had threatened to kill so many times, but who remained alive. Maybe he didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>want him dead, the Master thought to himself. Maybe he simply enjoyed the game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever the reason, the Master was glad to save him. He accepted that he was condemning himself to death, but he pushed the Time Lords back into the war, and he squeezed his eyes closed, anticipating the death that never came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not enough?” Missy scoffed, raising an eyebrow at her Doctor. She’d brought him the best birthday present he could ask for - his own personal army to help him save the universe, but he was turning it down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was quick to tell her that it was the opposite, but she wasn’t listening. What had happened to her friend, she wondered, to make him grow up so differently to her? She simply wanted him to realise that the two of them weren’t so different, but it seemed that she’d only proved that they were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not enough.” The Doctor groaned, his hands wrapped around strands of her hair as they sat in the vault he’d decided to keep her in. She thought the arrangement was a little unfair, but she was enjoying his company enough to stop herself complaining about it too often. After all, they both knew she had the ability to break out whenever she wanted to, so the fact that she was still there proved that she </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words echoed around the room, and he only received a smirk in response. Her lips crashed back onto his, and her hips rolled against his, even though they were both wearing too many layers to get the desired pleasure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It almost made her laugh when she realised the irony. She’d sworn to herself a long time ago, that she’d have the Doctor begging for his release. This wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind at the time, but now she wouldn’t have it any other way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not enough.” Missy whispered, when he gave her a speech about how their kindness could save the people on the colony ship. Their hands touched for a brief moment, and she found that she never wanted to let him go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she reluctantly pulled away, tears pricking her eyes as she fought to maintain her composure. Her and the Doctor were </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>on opposite sides, and she’d enjoyed being on the same one, if only for a little while. Hands falling to their sides, Missy turned away, already starting to regret her decision, even as her feet hit the ground, over and over again until she was standing in front of the lift - until she was faced with the perfect way to escape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even when it ended badly, she was glad to stand up for the Doctor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not enough.” O had texted her one night, and she dropped her phone face down in response. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>that whatever they had was a bad idea - he was quickly getting attached to her, and she wasn’t entirely sure </span>
  <em>
    <span>what </span>
  </em>
  <span>she was feeling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guilt crept into her mind as she fought to think of a way that they could’ve done this differently. Maybe she could’ve invited him to travel with her, and they wouldn’t be having this problem. He’d see her as a friend, and he wouldn’t be desperate for more than the text conversations they often shared, some of which weren’t as innocent as others. But maybe if he’d been here in person, his pining for her would be worse. Maybe she’d be pining in equal measure, or </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe </span>
  </em>
  <span>they would’ve simply discovered that the two of them weren’t compatible. It was hard to tell over text, after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, the Doctor sighed and picked up her phone, staring at the message and thinking of the friend she had once lost - wondering if that friend was still out there, somewhere, or if she’d died alongside her on the ship. But she tapped out a half-hearted reply, signing her message with </span>
  <em>
    <span>kisses</span>
  </em>
  <span>, even if she was afraid that it might be leading him on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not enough!” The Doctor screamed, her fists colliding with his shoulders, shoving the Master to the ground as he showed her the truth. It wasn’t his fault, she knew, but she was hurting. A secret that big didn’t deserve to be kept from her, and the knowing look in his eyes only made her want to hit him again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her body shook with uncontrolled rage, anger, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>fear. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was hiding in the back of her mind, but there was a part of her that was afraid of what she might find out if she pressed him to show her more. The Doctor told herself that it didn’t matter how bad it was - she just had to know, but any hope of finding out the rest of the story was ripped from her when he said that the rest of the information had been deleted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>life. She had a right to know it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sobs wracked her body, and the Master hugged her as the anger drained away, his mind drifting back to when the Doctor had once held him as he died. It was almost funny how their roles had been reversed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not enough.” The Master mumbled, rocking ever so slightly in his chair as he sat aboard the Doctor’s TARDIS. No, Gallifrey deserved so much more than what he’d done to it. They all deserved to die painful, drawn out deaths, but he’d let them burn and barely stopped to relish in it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It may not have been what the Doctor would have done if she’d found out the truth first, but that didn’t make it any less right, he thought to himself. They’d tortured a</span>
  <em>
    <span> child. </span>
  </em>
  <span>More than one, now. They turned him into a fighter when he was just eight years old, exposing him to the Time Vortex and unsuccessfully praying that he wouldn’t be driven mad by it. He’d been kind to them then. He’d lived his whole life without destroying the planet, but when he learned that they’d hurt the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Doctor,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he couldn’t stop himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was the one constant in his life - maybe she drifted in and out of it, but she was always there, fighting for those who couldn’t. And that was what he’d done for her when he’d burned them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they attended the academy, they’d been each other’s lifelines. Afternoons had spent in the fields rather than in the classes they were supposed to be attending, and nights had been spent sneaking into each other’s beds. They’d been the most important thing in the universe to each other, and for the Master, that had never changed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the Doctor had left him on their world, and she’d picked up new friends on her travels, using them to forget about the old one who laid alone on red fields, wondering what had happened to his oldest friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jealousy had set in at some point, as they’d both expected it would. He chased her across the universe, sometimes managing to catch up with her for a little while, and other times </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> falling short. It was funny, he thought, that he was always running towards her, searching for the friend that he never wanted to lose, but she was always running away, as if their time together meant nothing to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But when he found out the truth about who she was… suddenly it all made sense. Their time together </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>meant nothing to her, because it was just a small dot on the neverending line that was her life. He’d disliked humans because their short lifespans made them inconsequential, but to her, he was no different. He was replaceable, and she’d be moving on with someone else before he had the chance to blink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Master was </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he’d been stupid enough to actually believe she might care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of those thoughts came spilling out of him one day, when they were sitting on the comfortable leather of one of her sofas, staring at the fireplace in front of them. A tear slipped down his cheek, but the Doctor’s thumb quickly wiped it away. As he watched the tear dry on her skin, he knew that he’d never be enough for her - he’d never live as long as she would, he’d never </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> as much, and he’d never be able to make her look at him with the genuine smile he hadn’t seen on her face in hundreds of years. The Doctor looked into his eyes, searching for a hint of trickery, but finding only genuine </span>
  <em>
    <span>pain</span>
  </em>
  <span> made her say the words that he never thought he’d hear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know it's a short little thing, but please do let me know what you thought!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>